The Inner Life

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 02:36:14 -0500

““I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.””

- Douglas Adams (via sheltainfinitas)

"Have I gone mad? - The Mad Hatter I’m afraid so, entirely bonkers…but I’ll..."

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 22:09:28 -0500

“Have I gone mad?
- The Mad Hatter
I’m afraid so, entirely bonkers…but I’ll tell you a secret, all the best people are.
- Alice (quoting her father)”

- Alice In Wonderland, 2010 Tim Burton & Walt Disney Pictures

Escape and back again II

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 14:54:00 -0500

As I step over the broken bars of my cage the edge of vision shimmer, I think nothing of it for I am free now with every answer of life clear in my mind. I walk out into the world with purpose and determination; I know what I need to do, where I need to go. I see everyone around me, I know all the right things to say, the world is at peace, such a beautiful place, a utopia, paradise brought to life in all its glory. The people all live as one, the world and everything in it are shared and greed has no power. The edge of vision shimmer again and there is a faint sound that I think has some meaning, I should recognize it but it’s so distant and I’m at such peace here I still think nothing of it. I touch the ground, feel the pure clean earth fall through my fingers, brush the grass with my finger tips, the breeze, the sun, the temperature is all just perfect. In my hand is an ornate but simple scroll, on it is scribed all that I have learned, it holds all the answers that maintain this heaven on earth. A man approaches me and starts speaking, his voice doesn’t make sense, his lips mouth words but the sound is mechanical somehow, the same sound I heard a moment ago, he’s smiling as he reaches out for me to hand him the scroll. I look at his hand and then back at his mouth, I somehow make out part of what he is saying or at least the meaning, “…not time…”. My hand holding the scroll moves to hand it to him, I can’t control it, but I hold on to it tight, I don’t let go, he doesn’t try to pull it away, just waits for me to let go, but I don’t. I see the broken bars in the distance reforming and getting closer, my vision shimmers again, only not just the edges this time and it doesn’t stop, everything gets darker and darker…

I woke up the other morning, I know I had been dreaming because I felt like I had been holding something, but when I went to move my fingers to see if anything was really there, there was nothing, so I turned off my alarm and got out of bed. I hate dreams like that that seem so real when I wake up but yet I don’t even remember anything about the dream, dreams that feel important somehow, but I couldn’t even say a single thing that happened in it. And why do I feel like I’m in a cage lately? Maybe it’s just stress, it seems like I don’t understand anything anymore.

"He just wished that when he was shaving he could see some of these traits his admirers noted."

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 01:52:41 -0500

“He just wished that when he was shaving he could see some of these traits his admirers noted.”

- Wedge Antilles

Star Wars: X-wing (Book 9) Starfighters of Adumar, page 17

(via vondarkmoor)

Love song to my Lerrissa

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:04:52 -0600

Love song to my Lerrissa

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:02:00 -0600

You’re my world, the shelter from the rain.

You’re the pills that take away my pain.

You’re the light that helps me find my way.

You’re the words when I have nothing to say.

And in this world where nothing else is true

here I am, still tangled up in you,

I’m still tangled up in you.

You’re the fire that warms me when I’m cold.

You’re the hand I have to hold as I grow old.

You’re the shore when I am lost at sea.

You’re the only thing that I like about me.

And in this world where nothing else is true

here I am, still tangled up in you,

I’m still tangled up in you.

How long has it been

since this story line began

and I hope it never ends

and goes like this forever!

And in this world where nothing else is true

here I am, still tangled up in you,

I’m still tangled up in you.

"it’s not hard to die when you know you have lived."

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:28:21 -0500

““it’s not hard to die when you know you have lived.””

- unknown (via sheltainfinitas)

(via shadowwarrior)

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:20:51 -0500

(via shadowwarrior)

Down. By Jason Walker

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:20:00 -0500

shadowwarrior:

I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I’ll find what I’ve been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m going to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go
Cause then I’d never know
That I could be missing
I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up what I’ve been wishing for

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m going to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.
Oh I’m going down, down, down
Can’t find another way around
And I don’t want to hear the sound, of losing of what I never found.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m going to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
I never know why it’s coming down, down, down.
I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m going to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Oh it’s coming down, down, down.

Observer IX

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:37:00 -0500

Constant strain to be strong, to show that face to the world to show it no matter what it throws he remain solid. How long? How long will he be able to hold out? How much more can he take before the continuous maelstrom finally erodes the strong facade? What happens when the front is broken? He feels it, almost like physical pain, like standing naked in a sand storm that never lets up, no place to go for shelter. What he would give to catch a break for a change, for one thing, A new house, a new car, a good paying job, or maybe at least a few close friends that can help him with taking care of the old cars and house; or that friend that knows a guy that will give him a job regardless of education or experience. All he wants is to be able to support his family, to maybe be able to pay a mechanic to fix his car for a change, or a contractor to remodel the house instead of trying to guess & jury-rig & wing-it for every thing that he doesn’t know how to do. He likes learning how to do the thing, just for once though he wishes he didn’t have to self-teach himself every bit of it, if only he had someone to help & teach him as he worked. So many “If Only’s” that don’t matter, he is still seemingly alone in his tasks with little or no guidance to be found.

"This isn’t the end… “… this is a place to pause. If the fabric of existence is truly seamless, the..."

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:11:12 -0500

“

This isn’t the end…

“… this is a place to pause. If the fabric of existence is truly seamless, the weaver still must sleep.”

”

- Robert Fulghum (via sheltainfinitas)

Video

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:44:21 -0500

Feelings of lost hope…

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:29:53 -0500

Feelings of lost hope…

Observer VIII

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:05:00 -0500

A man drives along the highway in the dark, music playing as he makes his way to his destination. After a small time he suddenly stops the music & removes his hat & begins muttering quiet words, a humble request that this “Heavenly Father” protect him & the tattered old car he drives, to help his car make it to his destination & back, what these humans call a prayer. It seems this man had forgotten to pray before he departed but seemed to be trying to make up for it, better late then never as these humans say. The man concludes his prayer, puts his hat on, and tries to turn the radio back on…but the radio will not turn on, the car slows, the lights start to dim, the man desperately hopes his car will get him to the next town less then a mile away, just over the next hill, but hope is unfounded, the car is failing to quickly. The Observer watches all this as if from the back seat, wondering what on this strange earth is motivating this man to keep his faith in this “Heavenly Father” he was praying to only moments ago. The Observer watches as the man fumbles under the hood of his run-down car in the dark, hoping desperately to figure out how to fix his last mode of transportation for himself & his wife. The Observer closes his notes with wonder at this man’s seemingly blind faith in a God that lets this mans car fail only moments after a prayer for it to make the trip.

"Life is a comedy for those who think… and a tragedy for those who feel."

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:32:05 -0500

““Life is a comedy for those who think… and a tragedy for those who feel.””

- Horace Walpole

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough..."

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:58:33 -0500

“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

- Matthew 6:34 NIV (via shadowwarrior)

Observer VII

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:48:00 -0500

They look, they search, and they are lost here. This world so cruel, so twisted and dark, dim glints of light like flickering candles at the end of their wicks with little left to burn on. The light is in the mind, the imagination, the light is hope, what more do they have that is real? They turn to the fiction, to the books, to the movies, to the bedtime stories, to Wonderland, to Oz, to Middle Earth, to Sefferria… and for what? Answers? They silently scream at the worlds of their minds for the hope it portrays, for help in the reality of life. But the stories are just that, as good as they may be, as inspirational as they may be, they only offer a story, they only speak of possibilities. The human race is so lost, but so hopeful, they cling to these things and forget to make their own stories, they live vicariously through movie, TV, game, or book characters. The world tries to find answers in Wonderland, but wonderland doesn’t talk.

Observer VI: Observations of an Observer

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:51:00 -0500

It’s interesting to watch someone watching others, to observe an observer, & it is a rare occasion to spot an observer. The observer watches the other out of the corner of his eye, observes the other taking in all the people around, every minor event taking place, but there is something to the eyes, sadness perhaps, or a slight regrets. The observer realizes while watching the other that it is a lonely honor to be an observer, the gift to see so much, good and bad, to be in to world but not able to interact. For the observer sees with the inner eyes, watching from inside, the eyes that see everything even when the physical eyes may be distracted or unaware. The true eyes of the observer rest within the soul, the so called “Black Box” you might say, where everything is recorded to be retrieved when the body is no more. The observer is born when the soul takes on an inner consciousness of its own, somewhat detached from the outward mind. But the observer’s inner mind does not open for others, so destined to always be somewhat alone inside, unable to fully connect with the outside world. The observer has two names, a name for the inner private mind & a name for the public outer mind, not exactly a duel personality, for the soul is one, the mind is one, the personality the same, like twins minds, identical in thought & purpose but still somehow separate.

The observer still watches the other, watching with the inner eye, through the corner of the outer eye, watches as the other’s eyes slowly travel over the crowd, but the observer’s inner eye is locked on the other, unable to bring the minds eye off the other observer sitting there in the mirror.

Why does the would fight this so…? Artist: ...

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:43:00 -0500

Why does the would fight this so…?

Artist: Nickelback
Album: Dark Horse
Title: If Today Was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts ‘cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

"I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly..."

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:03:00 -0500

“

I’ve learned…. That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person..

I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned…. That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned …. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned….. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned….. That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned….. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts..

I ‘ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned….. That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned … That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned… That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned….. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned… That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I’ve learned …. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks..

I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned…. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

”

- Andy Rooney